you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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