Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(813): View more from Florida

No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.

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(775): View more from Nevada

Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.

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(815): View more from Illinois

He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.

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(334): View more from Alabama

Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?

Fav 7 3078 1083
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(618): View more from Illinois

Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.

(309): View more from Illinois

Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?

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(312): View more from Illinois

I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.

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(239): View more from Florida

I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep

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(540): View more from Virginia

I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.

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