I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
