At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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