the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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