he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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