if only i could text you this smell
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
