I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
my poor anus
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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