I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
