You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
