thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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