I wannas sexs uuuuu
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
