he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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