Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
We talked him into tasing himself.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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