Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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