Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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