That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
