Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
