Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
