Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
