those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
