Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
