So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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