Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
