My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I need moral support for this bender
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
