Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
My life is pants optional.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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