Just cropdusted the office
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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