break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
bring money and cleavage
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
