what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
