Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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