At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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