Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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