is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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