you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
