reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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