Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Randomize
