he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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