What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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