Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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