Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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