In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
