I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
