he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize