I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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