You can't motorboat a personality
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
