it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
