I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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