i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
