I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
