Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
