Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
