Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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