Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
