This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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