the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize