You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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