I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
