Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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