Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
