What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
