I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
