Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize